PainNgrieF

End of a beautiful life

2009-06-23T14:11:00.000-07:00

Look at her eyes..shining with a smile
going on with my creations
i can barely find myself alive
for once was she so small
never ever grew old
befor even the light came
did see even see the world
angel took her away
maybe earth wasn't good enough
she loved some flowers
and she got it on her funeral
still in the daylight i see her
maybe someday she comes by
call me hey bro wass up !?!!
whatsoever be it be
now its all over..
who can bring her back
maybe its better if i go to her
for she cannot come to me
without sister
life's come to a hault !!
life's come to an end !!!!
-nitin gupta

Little

2008-09-19T21:19:00.000-07:00

Those beautiful shining eyes
Keeps on looking here and there
Searching for something little
To bring eyes' smile upto lips..

Innocent by heart, Innocent by face
Is my little sister there
Gazing at me, Gazing at sky
To get a handful of sweets.

Still she cries at times
Frowns up, Turns her head
Never to talk again and goes away
Oh yes!Next morning she's there
Right there in front of me
Standing and staring and smiling
Ordering me to teach her a chapter
Looks charming,studies on top
She knows all the text
Yet doesn't stop asking me
And I, make her read the lesson
Now she does it all by herself
But leaves the drawing for me!!

So beautiful is the green dress
The reddish brown cheeks
The blue eyes, The brown hair
Let her smile rule the world

-Nitin Gupta

The Mightier Within Shall Win

2007-12-01T07:01:00.000-08:00

‘how dare the wisdom died before the world could look upon the goods over the evils’
-by Nitin Gupta
Reading is a compulsion, playing is a passion; while the people asked to look forward for the studies the mind ran over to the politics. A game that requires the capability to cheat, lie and dominate but certainly he was not able to do so. He wanted to be fair in politics. He couldn’t hide his honesty and the world couldn’t accomplish their illegal goals with his honesty and so the good and the bad forces were forced to combine to throw him out of that place. And there he was, struggling alone to bring honesty but certainly he came to realize that the whole system was corrupted and this sort of corruption can only be vanished with a full fledged power which was too difficult to gain coz every individual in the society was more or less corrupted to survive in that ruthless environment. Money was the God and the real God was lost; somewhere, maybe inside our body into which we never see how merciless it is. So, all the way the only way to change the system was to go through the dirty system without getting dirty. Something that could be achieved by no one except for the one...

Fake Time Of Love

2007-04-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

I seen it coming.
I knew he'd broke my heart.

But I wanted to hold onto hope, onto this illusion of love, kisses and caresses, this dream of being loved by someone who really cared for me. Someone who wanted me. Someone who would go until the Moon and back to be here for me, just for me.

I wanted roses and jasmines, meadows and streams, a swirling prismatic stardust of laughters, a feel of passion boiling my universe, the hold of his arms enveloping me, the warmth of his skin entwined with mine, I wanted him in my heart. Oh how I wanted him!

Guess I needed to feel like a woman should.

Tonight:
He said wasn't sure, needed time. I told him maybe we should take a break, so that he could find answers without the projections of my desires onto his center? He didn't know what to answer. I said, hey for what's worth, if this us is meant to be then some silence wouldn't hurt. So there he went to go delve into his own cave.

He's gone now.

Gosh! Suddenly all is empty, hollow, without sense. There is no purpose, no anticipation. No joy whatsoever. My universe is left out barren, dull, old and ugly. Lonelier than ever.

I tremble at the thought of not having him near, my heart hurts so much that it feels like I were dying a thousand deaths.

I am scared, what if he doesn't comes back?! I feel like crying forever. What's there now to write about for this upcoming 100 words posting on passion? Who will wake me up with sweet cyber-kisses? Who will lull me into sleep with the soft cadence of his heartbeats on the evenings?

He's gone.
Nothing is the same anymore.
Gosh! It sure hurts like hell to have these daggers of his absence pinning at my blue heart.

He's gone.
I knew he'd break my heart.

Can I understand ??

2007-04-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

You Understand

Confused and waiting

Sad and so alone

I find myself sitting down with the phone

Pressing seven digits but never connecting

Wondering if I should call or let it go

Till tomorrow it is

I must wait another day

To find out if your love for her really is going to stay

Hoping and praying, even though I don’t believe

Dreaming about all that may never be

Thoughts of you cloud my head

I don’t know what to do

How can this be?

My nightmare’s come true

I’m waiting for the guy that will never show

Spilling my heart out onto there pages

No one understands what I do with a pen

Creating feelings that haven’t been felt yet

Putting down how I feel inside

Then you come along and read them

And you understand

You get the emotions dripping out of the pen

Spilling onto the paper so fast I can’t stop it

Holding onto my pen and letting my mind soar

You know the words are more than rhymes

They hold so much more meaning

Words are not words

They’re feelings and thoughts and blood on the page

My soul bleeds when I write down words in ink

And you understand

You know what I need and what to say

My pain seems bearable when you hold me

I cry tears of confusion onto your shoulder of stability

I’m falling apart in your arms, and you’re trying to fix me

Telling me it’s ok to cry

Things will be better, you promise

I couldn’t see that you needed me just as much as I did you

You were falling though the cracks in your life

Stop trying to fix everyone’s problems

You can’t fix them all, trust me, I know

You’re hurting, and I’ll try to fix it

You tried to fix me, now it’s my turn

I need to help the ones I care for

And you understand

No words can explain how I feel inside

And you know that and accept me for me

I can’t express feelings through speech, so I write

Scribbling feelings and thoughts onto paper

It doesn’t rhyme, so who cares, that’s not the point

I let it go on for pages and paged

The blood that flows from my soul is not red

It’s black or blue on white paper

It feels so normal and fits so well

Not a hobby or vent or activity

But an extension of me onto paper

Words become people and pages are time

Words take feelings and phrases are places

No way to describe what happens

When I write it all down, put it away or give it to you

You read it and tears start to form

And you understand...

C-r-r-r-y

2007-04-01T12:01:00.000-07:00

Inconsistencies of the Mind

Thoughts of misguided thoughts
Thoughts of feelings gone astray
Thoughts of the things that could have been
Thoughts of the things that were
Thoughts of the things that are
Clouded thoughts with no purpose
Dreams and nightmares,
Realized and unfulfilled,
Existing simultaneously.
Never quite remembering,
Never quite forgetting.
Like missing pieces in a puzzle,
The picture’s never quite clear.
The thought left incomplete,
The dream left mid-fabrication.
To be continued,
To be forgotten.
Cry..

what r the eyes searching

2007-03-10T04:00:00.000-08:00

-was searching for someone in the hooks n corners of the world but the center of the heart is only empty....darkness lies all over surrounded by the burning fire of the world leaving behind the tears only to be felt-------------------help me out

Psychology Trends

2007-01-28T11:49:00.000-08:00

Grieving is the process of healing a loss. There are effective ways to do this and a few are mentioned here.

1. There is necessary suffering all of us must go through in life. Pain cannot be avoided or resolved until it serves its purpose.

2. The function of pain is to identify that illness or injury is present and to motivate us to tend to our sickness and wounds. Although "feeling no pain" from intoxication may serve to reduce injuries in a traffic accident, it is likely they this condition helped create the harm in the first place.

3. Although anesthesia may be fine in the operating room for surgery, there is a natural condition that occurs where people who sustain gashes, cuts, and even broken bones don't ever have to feel their pain. This condition is the disease of leprosy. As a consequence, lepers are unaware of their wounds and injuries worsen, gangrene sets in, and irreparable damage to the body takes place.

4. Grief and sadness are the emotional equivalents to illness and injury. Grief occurs when there is an irreplaceable loss of persons or things that we have depended on for our well being. Grief should be allowed its course, and will manifest itself in feelings of sadness, anger, and depression.
Sadness, like other injuries, can originate through the slightest cut of negligence to the deepest wound of betrayal.

5. All of our injuries, no matter how small, require attention. In an emergency we may need to put our pain aside, for the sake of survival. Be advised that putting this care off for too long can create even more of a crisis later.

6. We can be in pain merely witnessing another’s loss. However, if our hurt for the other is so great that it impedes our ability to help them, our pain in this instance is a manipulation. (If the victim or survivor of tragedy ends up comforting you, wake up, smell the coffee, and let someone more qualified be of assistance.)

7. Crying alone is necessary at times. It does little good to share your grief with those who are non-receptive. It is equally important to allow others to share your sorrow. Pain is a heavy burden made lighter with other arms around you.

8. We may resist comfort at times simply because if we let someone else in we could lose them as well. This is similar to starving yourself to death in order to avoid being poisoned. (So take little sips of care if this is the case.)

9. Crying produces natural endorphins that are pain relievers. A good cry is always helpful unless there are wild animals around who will take advantage of your vulnerability.

10. Our expressions of emotional pain are gender related. Most men learn to turn their hurt into anger. Most women are trained to turn their anger into pain.
This prevents men from being comforted and women from asserting themselves. (This is a lousy deal for both sexes that can be changed if you simply reverse your typical response to frustration.)

11. Pain and grief are very powerful tools used to heal, to convey need and, in turn, to get others to handle the ordinary responsibilities of the person who is hurt. Some are indeed helpless in being able to recover fully from certain types of illness and injury. Yet, some of us use pain as an excuse more than as a process of healing. For these folks, pain ceases to be a signal and becomes a permanent stop sign. The benefits of holding on to pain may need to be explored to open other roads of recovery and healing.

12. There are those of us too afraid to inflict or expose others to pain or grief. Here we can become surgeons who allow cancer to grow, judges who refuse to give sentences, coaches who let their teams get lazy and flabby, teachers who allow students to remain stupid, and friends who leave their other friends smiling with a big wad of spinach on their front teeth. Rethink your motives here.

13. Pain becomes unnecessary if right actions have been taken to tend to our wounds. This is why when we show up at the dentist's or doctor's the aches and pains sometimes disappear. They are simply no longer required.
If all proper actions have been taken, and there is no relief, grief or depression may not be a psychological problem, but more of a biochemical imbalance.
"If man were meant to fly he would have been born with wings" is a bullshit statement made by people afraid to fly. We have discovered medicines and procedures that can do much to alleviate chronic pain and depression. Taking advantage of them makes you neither weak nor drug dependent.

Using the resources you have to become well will empower both you and those you love.

Hurtless or Heartless

2007-01-22T09:32:00.000-08:00

which way was the world travelling when i thought about the incident that was never meant to happen.
Noone understands the pain that was given that night, who cares about whom;this world is full of artificial attracting actors.
wished for a friendship, but found it to be fake!!